Have you ever considered changing the ‘I wish I had…’ thoughts to something like ‘I’m so pleased I’ve got…’?
If you have, great! You’ve probably experienced that wonderful contented feeling that is often so fleeting in our society. We spend so much time wishing for things, that I’m concerned we might be missing out on the lovely things we already have, including that beautiful contented feeling.
When I was learning about positive psychology (which is the study of positive people and what they do that influences their positivity) I came across something very interesting: maximisers and satisfacers. Our culture encourages us to be maximisers – always wanting more, trying to be perfect. But our happiness is increased when we use satisfacing thoughts – enjoying what we’ve got and accepting that good really is good enough.
As a recovering perfectionist, this was really important to me. I figured out that just by changing my focus I could have a direct impact on how I felt, over months and years it’s even more effective. Here is an example, ‘I wish I had a kindle but I’m pleased I’ve got a bookcase full of books I haven’t read yet’ or ‘I’m pleased I’ve got a public library close by’ or ‘I’m pleased I’ve got a birthday coming up so I can ask for a kindle’ … You get the idea
So if you’re looking for a short cut to feeling a bit more contented … start focusing on what is good enough, halt those thoughts that push you to perfection and accept what is do-able within the time/money restraints you have.
What are you pleased you have in your life? (this isn’t limited to objects)