Restorative Thinking – Lesson 4

Avoid statements of absolutes. You know, the all or nothing thoughts that go through your mind.

For example: the driver you see pull out badly that you curse as being unfit for the road because of the one mistake you see in the 30 seconds you’ve seen them driving. Rather than thinking what a rubbish driver they are, try changing it to ‘they’re rubbish at driving or maybe they’re just having a bad day? Or maybe they’re feeling a little unwell’ giving your mind another option eases the emotional intensity and gives your emotions a rest.

After all, when someone does something annoying it doesn’t matter how mad you are at them, it doesn’t effect them. It’s your blood pressure that’s going through the roof and your emotions that are suffering, the other person doesn’t have any clue.

Ease your assumptions about others by giving your mind options for why they’re behaving the way they are. Letting go of judgements and assumptions can be very freeing for our mind and completely liberating for our emotions.

I like to think of this as restorative thinking because I find it more balancing. Give your thoughts options rather than absolutes and tell me how you find it,x

4 thoughts on “Restorative Thinking – Lesson 4

  1. What a great idea! I am an “all or nothing” thinker and feel better when I give myself these options when I’m making snap judgements on things. And following on from your driving example, when I see others make a mistake or even anytime I’m dealing with a “stranger”, I like to think about them as my child grown up, or as if they were my parent, and it gives me a softer, gentler, more embracing approach to them. I also hope that others will treat my loved ones well and give them the benefit of the doubt and compassion too. Thanks for another insightful post!

  2. I think letting go of judgements or assumptions helps us understand each other more and breaks down barriers. When you judge someone in an instant like your driving example you are stereotyping their behaviour. I think restorative thinking is a lovely phrase and it will remind me to restore my blood pressure to normal the next time something riles me!


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