Love, Romance & You

“After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises. You begin to accept your defeats.

With your head up and your eyes open. With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow is too uncertain for plans. And futures have a way of falling down in midflight. And after a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure . . . that you really are strong. That you really do have worth . . . and you learn . . . and you learn . . .”

Thank you to one of my favourite blogs The Simply Luxurious Life for sharing this wonderful quote. If you have time stop by, Shannon writes beautifully.

This quote struck a chord with me because I’ve been learning a lot about matters of the heart. Some people can only ‘get over someone’ with someone else, others can only do it by being angry and that some people only are willing to leave a relationship when they feel secure in walking into another one and I’ve been learning that none of that feels right for me.

Getting over someone for me has nothing to do with other people or the person. The love doesn’t change, it’s still there in the eternal way that love exists. But I don’t mean in a deep romantic way, I mean in a real eternal way. You know, like you’ll always be by their side if they need you. Once I’ve loved someone I’m always on their team, always by their side even if we don’t see each other for years. I don’t believe that bond ever breaks, even if it wasn’t a romantic love.

The thing I’ve had to most seriously face is the concept that nothing is certain. That to some degree the future is always uncertain. That you can share your life and love with someone but that there is no guarantee or security, there is no forever love. I suppose what I mean is that the intensity of your feelings today doesn’t guarantee your feelings tomorrow or in a years time. Or their feelings either!

There is forever love, but it’s when those feelings have been sustained forever. So in some sense, it can only be forever love at the end of your life when you know it’s happened.

In the quote it says “plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers”. I think I’m currently in the phase just before this where I’m wondering what flowers I might put in my garden. The photo below is stunning, it’s Pollards Mill in Barbados, an idyllic garden! I’ll take inspiration from there.

For me I’m fully embracing the idea of decorating my soul and rejoicing in the beauty of my love,x


8 thoughts on “Love, Romance & You

  1. yes i had the same thoughts, Amanda. Also i’m in a similar place to Fiona, – thank you for your share. 🙂

  2. Its very the same for me, for once you love someone unconditionally, you cannot for me if only let go completely. and its true what you say it doesnt have to be romantically, I love certain friends, for when I say friends that means friends and not just close acquaintences, but then because i can always see both sides I tend to always see their side too,,, but surely better that, I want a world of forgiveness because until then, there will be no peace.

  3. I’ve cracked open the shell of “forever love”, and I came face to face with illusion.
    I’ve shredded the ego and discovered grace, and claimed a new standard in my relationships.
    As a child I dreamed of being powerful, and woke up one day with the intense responsibility of being powerful.
    And the only thing not an illusion is Spirit.

    Blessings and march on, brave one…

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