When we hold a baby, it can’t do anything for us, for the good of society or even itself, yet we all coo and ahh at how wonderful it is, just because it exists. And just because it exists we love it and value it, regardless of it being completely useless. What’s important here is that at some point we seem to stop placing our value on just being alive, and we place it on external things, on achievements and status and then struggle to live up to these standards and then feel rubbish.
Goals and achieving are important for us to lead lives that are full of satisfaction and contentment, but we all seem to make a big mistake at some point. The mistake we make is when we begin to believe that we are our achievements, that our worth and value is correlated to our achievements. We easily get lost in a world where we’re chasing a feeling of being ‘good enough’, which is destructive to our sense of self and sense of self worth. Our worth and our value to a company is remunerated and graded, our actions and achievements are transactions by which our value is calculated. It’s a numbers game, they pay us less than the value they think we’ll add, so they make a profit from our input. But that’s our worth to a company, never to be confused with the type of worth we truley crave. Internal worth!
Sometimes it’s good to clarify what we mean by good enough. Good enough for what or for whom? For ourselves to feel good about ourselves? Well if we love and value a baby even though it’s incapable of adding any visible value, then our intrinsic value exists because we exist, and we can let our minds rest on that. I believe when we place our ‘worth’ back on being worthy and valued just because we are alive, specifically because we exist, then these types of concerns ease.
How good is your internal worth? A good way to measure whether we’re valuing ourselves is how often we are judgemental about other peoples ‘worthiness’. Whether we judge them as being more or less worthy than us isn’t nearly as important as the frequency of those thoughts. The frequency of the judgemental thoughts are usually a good gauge on how we’re feeling about our own intrinsic worth. (did you notice you were getting judgemental about being judgemental – lol roll with it, just notice it and carry on reading). Play a game with me, listen to your thoughts, count how often during the day you make judgements about others. Then notice how you feel about yourself just after your judgemental thought. You might be quite surprised at the strength of connection between the two. I noticed this a long time ago and may have even written a post about it before (that or it’s in a journal somewhere), I realised that when I’m judgemental about others (whether I’m judging them as better or worse than myself), I always feel like crap afterwards, it was that simple. I am quite sure our feelings in this situation illustrate a spiritual principle in action, to judge another is to believe in separateness but energtcially we’re all connected so judging another feels rubbish.
You are valuable and worthy regardless of external matters. You are as beautiful and wonderful as a new born baby and the incredible thing is, when you see it, you’ll love it, you’ll adore yourself unapologetically and enjoy a special level of contentedness reserved only for those moments you’re judgement free and valuing the essenece of who you are.
Let me know what you learn from the game (game: notice how often we make judgements about others),xx